ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So goodbye it is. Now my red line gets fck'ed up also, and I'm so tired of countless suckouts and 2-outers on the river (aaaaaaalways on river) that I literally has stopped playing. No more hyperz for sure, and might not even Pokerstars any more.

If anything then maybe 9man KO's and turbos where variance (=STRESS) is less. Think i can maintain my +10% ROI on 7s i have over a decent sample. AND fish are plenty - nothing like hypers now a days.

Funny thing is, I levelled down to $3s in hypers and found many I played on $7s and $15s, AND they were marked red = good reg!????

Might wonder if I suck HU bc of all those 2nd places? Well.... take a look:

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu you variance bitch.


One thing I definitivtly will stop is blogging. Some does read it, but no one ever responds and one way communication is boring. So bye - and don't see you at the tables...?

JOKERSTARS

Year started well with steady winnings and the usual swings, but after around 700 games I encoutered my worst variance ever, and got so fck'ed and frustrated after countless and most unbelivable suckouts ever, that I started writing JOKERSTARS in chat every time it happened.
That was right around the marked area:

Then some cu*t at Pokerstars found out and pushed the DOOOOOOOOM-button on me:

 

Any game. Any level. Any buyin. EVERYTHING I play I loose caused by RNG-DOOM on my game. In all my years of poker I never had such a red line and i makes me wanna quit.

 

So please Pokerstars; I've taken my punishment so either let me win again og say goodbye!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moving on

Was looking for a backer to help me move to $15 hypers because me goes on monkeytilt when my Graph keeps looking like this (red line vs. green line):

especially with the 15s

but unfortunately nobody wanted to team up with me. I wish I could just see those poker-$'s as a tool to improve and move up instead of real Money. Funny thing is, in my many years in poker I've never even withdrawen any of them as I have no urgent need for them.

So I might give up on those swingy hypers and move back to more safe ground of 9man turbos;

ROI is fine but hourly is lagging as I usually don't play continuously. And 15s are looking good allthough still under EV (and yes yes yes LOL-sample I know)

Another problem is at my time of day playing, not many 15s a running so I have to mix with 7s or choose to play longer hours or later hours. OR maybe even mix with some other format APART from hypers... LOL

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Please can someone stop this doomswitch

Just wont stop, and it's like self-reinforcing leaving me thinking I'll never ever gonna win again.

Overall I'm now officially down more than 100 BI

Soooooooo close to stop playing this shite and leaving JOKERSTARS for ever...

DISCOURAGING

80BI under EV!

I know it's the dark soul of variance, but still finding it hard to deal with, especially when it just continues day after day, after day, after day....

This is now 6 days in a row getting dipped in tar and rolled for my Money.

NEVER NEVER NEVER

NEVER NEVER EVER post a winning graph like I did in the previous post, or you'll get hunted down by the bitch called variance and get a SMACKING:

Still playing - still winning

but WHO cares...

Should play LONGER
Should play HIGHER
Should play MORE TABLES
Should play staked -

    cause I'm a BRM NIT-REG

Punktured red line

Love my new playground, and finally able to get juuuust a little more games in thanks to "McKenzie"

Lately though, I'm beginning to question my game and wondering WTF is going on. Is this just standard variance or is it me who have changed something in my game:

It's almost like getting 2-outered and stuff like that is better that this, at least you can see that the red line is going up and that you eventually will catch up.

It's even more frustuating when you look at the previous games:

 

 

Well, guess I just have to play through it and face the fact that this is hypers "in a nutshell."


One a second note:

PLAY PLAY PLAY

Finally found my poker resting ground, and also a game where I can play small short sessions without hurting my x¤"&%¤ neck too much.

Doing fine so far:

Also read some of "Mental game of poker" and took the good decision of making a GOAL which has always been a leak of mine. So now I have something to aim for which is highly motivating.

Only thing needed now is to change name of blog!

QUIT QUIT QUIT

I quit Pokerstars, I quit blogging, I QUIT !!!

That FCKN bitch called variance just wont let go of me. This is just hilarious, played a tiny set of low buyin (thank god) hypers - just 6 tables - and in EVERYONE of them I got rolled in oil and dipped in feathers. And its not that I play 1000 games and suddenly run into this - no, I've only played around 250 since switched to Pokerstars, and almost all of it is UNDER UNDER UNDER EV.


HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE:

Notice that I would have lost to A8 anyways...

This is just JINXED. TWICE KK AND would have lost to A5.    SICK SICK SICK

Dont need to call me with to jacks - J2 would have done it - but maybe the RNG thought i had AA!

Thank for reading, whoever randomly stumbled over my FORMER blog.

Bye all, and anyone interested can have my bitch. I'm sure she will find YOU anyway.

MORE MORE MORE

More of the same SHITE just a different day. I used to get to the river before I got hammered with a 3-outer, now it's right in my face. I hate Pokerstars, I hate getting 3-outered, I hate variance and I hate to whine in this blog. So I guess I'll stop everything soon!

This is how I STILLLLLLLL run:

ON THE BUBBLE!

ON THE BUBBLE!


Set today: 14,9% EV-ROI and -72,4% FCK'IN-VARIANCE-LOL-ROI

Pokerstars owes me...

Tired of my bankroll standing still while it's supposed to be growing, all because Pokerstars still haven't fixed their RNG so that you at least once in a while run close to expectation. And it's not just me with my tiny sample! I'm seeing it in almost every blog I come around, downswing and doomswitch over and over again.

I still have a problem with my neck, so not playing very much. Just once and a while some of my good old favorite regular speed:

Well atleast I have a decent ROI, but the hourly is just funmoney due to the fact I can't play continuously given my §#?%<¤½ NECK.

Wishes for Christmas:

- new neck
- time for 50 sngs a day
- boomswitch

Happy new year all !

Missing Full Tilt

Man, how I miss the good old days at fulltilt. Playing regular speed sng and winning nice and steady, building bankroll one brick after another.

Since I switched to pokerstars I'm getting coolered time after time after time. Was always shaking my head when other players were talking about how stars was rigged and that the RNG was fixed. Sorry guys, now I know what you mean.

It does'nt matter what I play, or what level I play -  just can't win anything. Today I tried 6 tables of $3.50 18mans, and an idiot shoves 21bb from btn with A8 over a limper, and I call from sb with KK and loose. On another table I shove 12bb from sb with AQ and get called from a 15bb stack in bb with T9s ??? and you know the rest...

And finally on the last table sitting in the bb with the smallest stack and 5 players left. Sb who is the 2nd-smallest in chips pushes Q7 into my 44 and I call. Now here the pokergods wanted to help me and said that the sb could not hit his Q or 7 - fine I think - that's almost a win.
Flop comes 9-8-6, and of course - just what I thought... make him find another way to pwn me. But wait, the pokergods give me one last chance to win: they set the rule that he can't win with a straight either! YES man, now I can finally get those chips and get in the money.
Then the turn comes: 8... and that little fucker finds a loophole to f... me up with a 9 on the river and counterfits me or whatever.
It was never ment for me to win that hand - no matter what!

Furthermore my Acer PC is dead - but that's just life I guess, and that's why I have no image of my red line messing around $-cero, while the green line is going upwards. Kick the man while he's down.

No Poker

No playing, no posting, no blogging, no studying, no videos and no nothing in front of the computer.

Just an aching neck and countless treatments from a physiotherapist...

Regulars at pokerstars.

Been trying out the regular speed sng's at pokerstars lately. The BOP had double prizes, so I thought I'd give it a little shot and play my main game where I usually have a good ROI. Things started out very well with my 6 tables; 2 first and a 2nd place. Another set 7 with tables made me one 1st, 2 2nd and one 3rd. But then got the variance coming in the last set of 7 (which was played after the first set of 6).

So not even near any prices, and I think one have to run like god to get on top of BOP. But never mind, this is not something to consider for a common hobbyplayer like myself. The regular speed games, on the other hand, may be something to take under consideration. They seem rather soft compared to the turbos. Only downside is, they take foreeeeever to finish. On average they take just under one hour, but at the time of day I play they load rather slow, and when you get to a win it can have been running for almost 80 minutes!

And as usual a little graph from a very little sample:

If it somehow would be possible to obtain a 15-20% ROI it might be profitable to play these instead of the turbos. So maybe I continue where I left off at full tilt - playing the regulars...

Motivation.

Have been reading some books lately on how to develop your personality, especially on setting goals and being motivated. This is intended for use in my approach to poker, but can of course also be used in other contexts.
Of the books I highly recommend "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" written by Stephen R. Covey.

Not surprisingly, it is said that it is the fifth best-selling book in the world, and I think many things reviewed in it can be related to poker. Let me show you some text from habit one which is called "Be proactive":

Being Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response.

Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

 Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

- guess you can see the relations to poker, especially if you're facing a downswing.

On the pokerplaying front, I again found myself in my so called "pokernowhereland" dabbling around in different sng-games; 45man, 18man, 6max and 9man turbos, unable to settle down and concentrating on one single game. At least I'm doing very well in everything - especially in multitables - although samples as usual are small:

Think it ends in a choice between 18man turbo and 9man turbo.

Tough games.

Finally time for a post, and finally today I had the urge for playing some 9man sng. Went rather well, as I in just 6 games had one 3rd place and tree WINS!

These were all turbo's and only at low stakes, but man, these games are getting somewhat tougher. Seemingly it's not unusual to see all 9 players still around at bb200, bubbleplay starting at bb400 and Hu-play when blinds are 500/1000.

Although I'm doing okay in these turbo's (13.2% EV-ROI) so far, I'm contemplating moving to PokerStars and continue playing what I do best, which is the regular speed game. The only thing hindering me is my low volume, because rakeback will be almost cero at Stars compared with my 27% at FullTilt.

"But you only have to play around 200 games a month" you say - yes, but remember I play as a hobby and don't wanna be a grinder.

But who really cares - summer is here, holiday is here and soon me my wife and kid are off to Grece and the lovely island of Crete. So happy holidays everyone!

Ohh and last but not least some nice piece of music i recently stumbled upon:

No games running

I was - according to plan/goal - slowly starting on $20 regular speed sng, but after black friday I completely had to change my goals of becoming a regular speed reg!

Earlier when I played my $10's I could load my set rather quickly, but now take a look at my future battlefield:

absolutely nothing going on!

So to prevent not again ending in poker nowhereland, I instantly made a dicision on moving to turbo's instead. Starting out on the $6.5 level with around 60BI (cashed +$800 out) and only 4-tabling as I gotta get used to the faster pace.

Even though the bitch and my ma'am now having to almost live next door, thing are looking fine:

EV ROI is at 18.3% which I don't think (know) I can keep, but maybe around 10-15% when I get to 6-9 tables. And I think this will be my first goal; adding tables and then move up.

See you at the tables...

Beers and bitches.

The bitch called variance would not leave, so I left her by stop playing! Furthermore games was starting rather slow pre black friday, but now it's even worse - much worse.

The bright side of it though, is that summer has come early here in Denmark, so I have been working the garden instead, and just had a nice weekendtrip to Germany, filling up the car with cheap beers and stuff which is rather expencive in my country.

And if you ever come across this beer:

then don't hesitate, and just buy some. It's my absolutely favorite, and even if it's imported from Germany, it's certainly still a Danish beer! Apart from being some of the best pokerplayers, we also make some of the worlds best beers. (cheers ;-D)

But back to poker. Sometimes when I'm persecuted from a bitch at one site, I tend to switch to another and hope to stay out of her way. So I have mengled a bit with my old 45man spiced with some 18man, and those are still under consideration to be my new main game if fulltilt don't catch up in volume.

Here's the graph:

Now that's my Ma'am talking!